16th May

Yesterday I had a long talk with you on phone.First in past couple of weeks where you were not rude to me and in the end you told you miss me and you luv me.It becomes boring when someone keeps on repeating that he loves you.I fear that it must have become boring for you.But if you genuinely love that person it wont be boring.

I decide everyday that I wont say I luv u to u..but I cant help.It just comes out.

I send u SMS but I never get replies.

The response you give to a person or way you talk shows his position in your life.May be you think its routine that I send sms or may be you think that replying SMSes is not a big deal at all.But previously you used to reply me.That too as soon as possible.From past three weeks u didnt reply.

Everyone has friends.Good friends,ok ok friends and bad friends.
There are times when you get new friends,but that doesnt mean you should forget old ones.Ok let it be.May be I am asking for too much.

I sort of dont like my behaviour.Why am I having expectations from others?
There are people who are smart.They are loved by everyone and are centre of attraction.People and girls talk to them.They dont have to care whether the person they talk to feels good or bad.Because the person knows,these people are crazy after them and they will keep coming back or another reason may be he simply doesnt care.
Then there are people like me.We are not smart talkers or cute or handsome.I am already alone seeking company from others.I have to take care about others.If people who talk to me,they get angry then they wont return.People show me attitude,it hurts.But I have to bear that because I want to be with them.When they are hurt,I always stay ahead to take care of them.But when they seek happiness or want company I am not the priority.

Whether its college,work or any other social life,I often get down on knees and beg to have friendship.Life of loser is not easy.If I am a loser then that doesnt mean I am a bad man or I cannot be a good friend.

Sent u sms 2 hrs back but no replies from you.No point in waiting now.
Dont worry its just for few days.Then I will be used to it.
I have lived half of my life being ignored...it wont pain much.